Help, my brain is making crossover fanfic

Item the first: I watch crime shows while knitting. This month is Criminal Minds.

Item the second: I have this lovely abduction-and-slavery setting, Tir Na Cali.

Item the third: the two would marry pretty nicely, if Crim. Minds didn’t keep ending in people dying. Well, beginning that way.

So, I have this scene in my head where the Cali Agency slave-running team accidentally finds one of the girl-abduction-etc. stories in Criminal Minds (thinking the one I barely remember, involving impregnating girls in cages in a basement), ‘rescues(*)’ the girls, locks the bad guys in a cage, and sends the BAU a note.

(*) See slave-raiding. But at least now they’re not getting killed, right?

And then I was watching the episode where Reid is abducted, and imagined that this was a series of Cali taunts, one-upping the BAU, and it ended with them yoinking an FBI agent from the brink of death, only to kidnap him of to Cali.

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28 thoughts on “Help, my brain is making crossover fanfic

  1. Oh man, that’s dark. There is a certain kind of logic to “rescuing” people from human-shaped monsters…

  2. Man. Have you watched NCIS? I spend the entire show going ‘wow, I like it when they get kidnapped.’ I think I rambled on about that one at you, once.

    • I believe you did! Criminal Minds keeps making me go… “this would be great if it wasn’t snuff…” Lynnies do not like snuff.

    • Okay, I am racking my brain and the only kidnap situations in NCIS I can think of are when the guy pays the bad guy to kidnap his wife and daughter, and when Abby gets driven off by the hit man (and tases him awesomely). What are you thinking of? Clearly I need to up my NCIS viewing… though that would be physically difficult… Oh, there is the one where the serial killer keeps women locked up in underground bunkers. There are the two different eps that clearly demonstrate “this is why you don’t leave the room with your sub tied up.” I like those.

      • There’s this one episode where Tony gets to deal with a kid kidnapping him at gunpoint, which would have been great if the kid was a few years older. Other than that, nothing specific springs to mind, they’re just all pretty and getting into trouble all the time.

        • Wow, I don’t remember that at all. Must be fairly recent (meaning it hasn’t been rerun as many times, and I wouldn’t bother to watch it as much, because I think the show’s been deteriorating). But yes, they are pretty and getting into trouble all the time 😀 Ooh, how about the one where Tony and Ziva are locked in a shipping container?

      • Oh, there is the one where the serial killer keeps women locked up in underground bunkers. Is that NCIS? Coulda swore I saw that on Crim. Minds.

        • The NCIS episode I’m thinking of is from the second season and it’s called “The Good Wives Club.” They find a room with a dead woman in it; she’s been dressed in a wedding gown and kept chained up in a room with a bed, bathing facilities, and not much else. They realize she’s been laying on the rug a lot and praying. They discover it’s a chaplain, but he kills himself before they can arrest him, so they have to hurry to find his current victim, who has Stockholm Syndrome and whacks Tony on the head. Tony has a lot in common with the killer (which is especially interesting in light of the episode where he’s framed for murder, another great distress ep), and discovers photos of the killer with his “wives,” which I believe is the only reason we know there’s more than two.

          • Wow O_O. I’ve never seen that one! well, I’ve never seen a lot of NCIS. Like the end of the shipping container one, and that’s about it. The probably-Criminal-Minds involves finding a dead girl who’s had a baby or several, and eventually they find a man & woman who couldn’t have a child, keeping druggies in chainlink cages in their basement, impregnating them while detoxing them, and killing them if they have girls.

        • Oh, the only CM episode I can come up with where women are being held underground is the one you mentioned earlier, where the unsub rapes them and gets them pregnant. They’re kind of in underground jail cells, IIRC.

          • That one I just posted on above. *nods* (thread cross) Had a very Cali/Ag feel to it for me, except the murder part.

          • It does, doesn’t it? There’s also one where a couple is kidnapping kids and basically brainwashing them, forcing them to be part of a “family,” but occasionally killing them if they won’t cooperate. That one has a very faerie feel except for, again, the murder.

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