It is my desire to re-re-write the Rin/Girey story with a coherent Outline.
So far I have:
Beginning: Rin takes Girey from the Camp
(Middle: long road to Lannamer. Things happen)
End: Something happens in the castle.
For those of you that are Rin/Girey readers, what are key points and what is it missing? What could be left out?
Cheers,
Lyn
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Some stuff from the first take I would like to see stay (incomplete): Girey’s several escape attempts. Meeting Rin’s old friends in [village], including the retired soldier who tells Girey to consider it downtime. Meeting the Bithrani deserter (including the fairly clear layout of Rin’s healing abilities). Meeting Girey’s … maybe former lover? Meeting the Bithrani prisoners of war. Meeting the Bithrani priestess who recognizes Girey. That mess with the attempted kidnapping of Girey / murder of Rin. Rin attempting to repair some of Girey’s old injuries. Meeting Rin’s parents. Storytelling with kids. Meeting the not-the-mayor-I-forget-her-title, and the political conversation Girey tries to sulk through. Meeting Rin’s very old aunt (priestess?) Stuff I would like to see included: What do those bracelets actually mean? Make a decision about Rin’s past love life. A more coherent sense of palace politics (factions?) Getting back to the people involved with the attempted kidnapping/murder. Elen’s wedding. Rin and Girey reaching some sort of working arrangement to go forward with. That said, there was a lot of running into people, having an interesting conversation, and never getting back to them, which is mostly justified since they’re travelling, but some of those situations get mostly-resolved (the deserter), or at least the conversations reach conclusions, but others (the kidnappers, lots of people in the palace) just get dropped and left (behind) unresolved.
Hmm. I have probably included way too many “keep this scene!” requests to really suit the request that the various random meetings feel more wrapped-up. Theme-wise, I think it is important to establish their respective goals, values, and abilities, and how they learn to understand and respect each others’.
While I’ve seen bits of the ending at the castle, I don’t think I have seen the resolution – I believe the conclusion needs to get the relationship between the two of them to a stable point. I do like the travel, and the various people they encounter, but agree that the encounters need to either advance the relationship plot, or reveal more about either Rin or Giery. I enjoy the complaints about the goats, but I am odd like that and the goats amuse me.