Archive | September 27, 2012

Hey, look, a boundary, eep edition

I’m going to put this behind a cut because it’s coming off a bit cranky. Read at your own risk.

I don’t do well with setting boundaries; I don’t do well with enforcing them.

I do really well with learning other people’s and trying to respect that (Wyst says I am too good at trying to respect other people’s boundaries, actually), and I tend to expect other people will do the same for me, which would be a lot more reasonable if I was more clear on those boundaries, yes.

But I’m beginning to at least learn where they are. Generally by realizing when I’m really, really angry and stopping to take a look.

Here’s some new ones.

This one’s a deal-breaker, too:

  • Do not presume that my mental health should occur on your agenda.
    To start with, assuming that I’m not working on something because you don’t see change is pretty arrogant. To continue – I work on fixing things based on my mental comfort, my life, my marriage, my friendships, and my job, in about that order. So, you know, I might have something taking my energy that isn’t the brainweasel you think I ought to evict today.

    (Side note: Please see other boundaries, especially the one regarding “should,” this one)

  • Please don’t tell me how I should be feeling. It’s silencing (I learned this phrase recently, and it startles me how much it fits.) It’s just… just don’t do it, okay?
  • This one isn’t a boundary as much as it’s a tip: If you want to know how I’m feeling (emotions), ask. I won’t lie to you if asked directly.

It feels like there ought to be more, but that’s what I’ve got so far today

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Thursday, with #WebLitWednesday

My friend @Shutsumon, of Firebird Fiction, is trying to revive #WebLitWednesday.

(Yes, I’m a day late.)

WebLitWednesday is a time to tell the world all about the awesome web-based fiction you have been reading. Not on Twitter? Tell me here, or tell the world in your LJ or DW.

I’m going to try to review someone else’s fiction every Wednesday going forward as well; is there anything you’d like me to review?

@Lynthornealder: Shadow Unit – – This engrossing sci-fi #weblit is a crime show for your computer screen, only better. #weblitwednesday

@Shutsumon: Check out my #weblitwednesday review of Akumu Love Panic! by Illise Montoya

This entry was originally posted at You can comment here or there.