I’m going to put this behind a cut because it’s coming off a bit cranky. Read at your own risk.
I don’t do well with setting boundaries; I don’t do well with enforcing them.
I do really well with learning other people’s and trying to respect that (Wyst says I am too good at trying to respect other people’s boundaries, actually), and I tend to expect other people will do the same for me, which would be a lot more reasonable if I was more clear on those boundaries, yes.
But I’m beginning to at least learn where they are. Generally by realizing when I’m really, really angry and stopping to take a look.
Here’s some new ones.
This one’s a deal-breaker, too:
- Do not presume that my mental health should occur on your agenda.
To start with, assuming that I’m not working on something because you don’t see change is pretty arrogant. To continue – I work on fixing things based on my mental comfort, my life, my marriage, my friendships, and my job, in about that order. So, you know, I might have something taking my energy that isn’t the brainweasel you think I ought to evict today.
- Please don’t tell me how I should be feeling. It’s silencing (I learned this phrase recently, and it startles me how much it fits.) It’s just… just don’t do it, okay?
- This one isn’t a boundary as much as it’s a tip: If you want to know how I’m feeling (emotions), ask. I won’t lie to you if asked directly.
It feels like there ought to be more, but that’s what I’ve got so far today
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