“I don’t see why I should step down. Everyone knows Winter is evil.”
There were four seasons and four courts. There had always been, as long as the words went back and before that as long as the stories passed, four seasons and four courts.
“He’s not evil, he’s simply… still.” Spring was not known for being the most eloquent of seasons. Hers was the time of bubbly abundance and joy, not of long eloquent speeches. “Besides, you have to give up the throne and the crown. Who knows what will happen if you don’t?”
“Nothing will happen.” Autumn was impatient, at times, harsh at others, and right now, stubborn. They were, of course, people, people wearing hereditary crowns, and as such they had their own personalities and their own quirks, but there was a certain amount of folklore attached to each of the crowns and to the great throne, and there were some that said that the crown and the throne became the people as much as the people became the crown. “That is a silly myth. We’re people. This is a tradition. The movement of the sun in the sky is not swayed by who sits on the throne. It just means that we cut Winter out.”
“What if it is, though?” Summer was sleepy, but he leaned against a post and studied the two women who bracketed him. “What if you cut Winter out and… winter doesn’t come?”
“Then it’s not cold?” Spring offered. “Things don’t freeze… oh Spring isn’t special anymore.”
“-seeds that need the frost to crack don’t crack. Animals don’t know if they should hibernate or not. People don’t rest.” Summer raised his eyebrows. “Spring, if she doesn’t let Winter take his seat, who is to say she’ll let you take yours? And if the world doesn’t grow…”
“Oh, come on, Summer.” Autumn glared at him. “You’re being ridiculous! It’s a myth! In our grandparents’ time, there was a whole two years where we had no Summer King! Autumn and Spring split it up between them while they waited for a new Summer to come of age!”
“And, as I recall, those were very chilly summers, weren’t they?” He yawned. “It’s up to you two. Winter doesn’t like me, he doesn’t talk to me, and he won’t fuck me. If you want to split his throne up between you, that’s your business. If it breaks the world- then it becomes my business.”
“Wait, who said anything about splitting it?” Autumn glared at the lanky ginger king. “Like I said, I’m not giving up the throne! He’s crazy!”
“Crazy now?” Spring frowned across the room. “I thought he was evil. And – come on, Autumn, splitting it would only be fair…”
“Both of you!” Autumn flung up her hands in frustration. “I’m going to talk to Winter! At least he makes sense!”
“Makes sense about… you taking his throne…?” Spring’s confused whisper followed the Autumn queen out of the throne room.
Dear Autumn: are you going to dispossess Winter? Or are you off to go drinking with him? There’s also the rule “never fuck anyone crazier than you”, but between your description of Winter and your own behavior, you may both suit each other. (Dear brain: not helping. “Winter is coming” indeed.)
If they’re this dysfunctional about handing over the throne when it’s time, how dysfunctional are they when something actually needs to get done?