Pi Day Story: the Pissers

I am taking prompts on the theme of “Begins with Pi-” (preferably a phrase rather than a word).

Content warning, this one is definitely inspired by current events.

Also, I have the typing version of a sore throat – my right ring finger is sad – so pls. forgive any typos.


 “Piss.  Pour me another Pint, Pinny.”  Pietra Pinth was, as she’d said, pissed. “The pissers did it again.”

“They always do, Doctor. You know you can’t let them get you down, though.”  Pinny, the bartender, poured another pint anyway. “You keep doing what you do, and me and the girls, we’ll keep knowing that you do it.  It was something about a – um – pizza…?”

“This stupid bacteria-like thing called a piazza-prototype,” Pietra muttered into her pint.  “I mean, stupid, because it wasn’t even that well designed, but not stupid, because it had already killed 1/10 of its victims and that was just in Pinsk.  If it got out – well.”

“So how do they figure you didn’t help?”  Pinny slid a plate of pickles over; at least it was something sort of solid.  “I mean, you’re the bacteriologist. After that thing with – oh, dammit, I’m sorry.”

“They called it Pig Flu.  In Piura.”

“That one!  And then the Pimento, I know I have that one right, thing in Pittsburgh-“

“If they can’t see it, it didn’t happen.  And if the thing never gets out of its home city, then they don’t really think about it.”  Pietra glared at her pint. “This thing would have infected one in ten people and killed one in ten of those. Maybe more. But since it’s been contained…”

“You know.”  Pinny leaned forward. “The scientists doing these things are aiming for lethality. If one of them was aiming for spread first, something that LOOKED bad and didn’t really hurt many people, well maybe… maybe that would make the news.”

Pietra downed her pint.  “Pinny, you are amazing, I hope you know that.”


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