Thank you, cluudle. Duh.
Gender. Where did I get this messed-up obsession with gender roles, with a side order of gender confusion?
My family has very strong gender roles
and I fit the masculine of those more than the feminine.(*)
Add on to that a decade spent with gamers for whom “girl” is an alien species so “not-girl” is how they deal with girls they can talk to…
…and playing with the boys is more fun (hiking!) than playing with the girls (shopping? Makeup?)…
(*) And not the ones you see on TV shows. Women handle finance. We’re a very Strong Female Role Model family. But men handle woodworking, cars, metalworking (Sort of. My mom sanded and stained our entire house. Twice).
I have trouble being coherent about this, but there’s some blather.