Fuzzy-Wuzzy, a story of Fae Apoc for the Giraffe-Bunny-Safari-Call

This is set in my Fae Apoc setting, which has a landing page here.

For zianuray‘s prompt.

Forget about how the tiger got his stripes, how the leopard changed his shorts. Today I’m going to tell you a better story, a more epic story: How the Bear Lost his Fuzz.

Fuzzy-Wuzzy wasn’t a bear, mind you, not like a grizzly or something, claws, sharp teeth, yadda, yadda, et cetera. Fuzzy-Wuzzy was a bear, still a teenager and already big, cuddly, and all over fur.

He had a name, a real name, I’m sure of it, but the point is, that the Fuzzy was a big man that everyone knew as Fuzzy-Wuzzy. You know what they say about puberty? Voice changes, hair in places you had no hair before, grow taller over night. All that. And then…

…well, you know how the rhyme goes. You knew there had to be an And Then that didn’t involve happily ever after at the local Bachelor Forum.

So, the thing about Fae is (or so I’ve been told), the thing you have to really pity them for is that they get puberty twice. First they get the normal sort, and then, sometime before their body’s all done growing (I’ve heard – I couldn’t tell you myself), they get to Change all over again. And here was Fuzzy Wuzzy, eighteen years old and 6 foot 8, furry as you could be, and…

…here we go with the And Then…

…and then when he was moonlighting at a local strip club as a bouncer (that tall, he had to be over 21, right?)… when trolls attacked.

And that was just about it for Fuzzy Wuzzy. He went to work a bear, and, three hours later, and I’m not saying he fainted, even if any sane person would, but this whole Change thing is like puberty all at once, it hurts (or so I’ve been told). He woke up stark naked, a foot and a half taller…

…and smooth as a baby’s behind. And, of course, because this is the way things happen, purple and with ram horns. But the important part about this…

… you guessed it….

…is that Fuzzy Wuzzy Had No Hair. Not a bit.

But he was still the favorite bear at the Bachelor Forum.

the leopard changing his shorts is a nod to Terry Pratchett. The Bachelor Forum is a gay bar near my old apartment in Rochester, NY.

This entry was originally posted at http://aldersprig.dreamwidth.org/397099.html. You can comment here or there.

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