Okay, it’s the day before Halloween.
I really love Halloween. I loved it so much as a kid, when I hadn’t learned to be nervous about what I wore. I can still remember some of my costumes – the year mom made me a full bunny costume, for one. The year we couldn’t find cat ears so Dad bought a set of mouse ears, cut them, and spray-painted them black.
That was pretty cool.
When I was a kid, trick-or-treating meant Dad driving me (sometimes Mom) to houses we knew – relatives, church people, friends. My neighborhood growing up was rather rural (less so now).
We don’t keep our light on most years now, but a lot of that is because out here, there are no kids. This house is even more remote than the one I grew up in, and our neighbors on this street are approximately a hundred and twenty.
But man, I miss costumes, and I miss being brave enough to wear them. The candy is nice, sure, but all the other trappings of the holiday, that’s what I really love.
The “spookiness” and the harvest and the pumpkin, the black cats (cats, always!), the costumes, the pagantry… it’s an unabashed feeling holiday and I love it for that.
I really do wish I could do costumes the way I did when I was eight, unabashed, fun at wearing something new, loving the way it looked on me BECAUSE it was a costume. I do hope I can do that again some day, that my brain will let me.
In the meantime, i’m going to dress up my tumblr feed and my twitter feed every October and sit up until past midnight on Halloween getting ready to write for Nanowrimo.
In my cat ears. Of course.