Archive | June 8, 2016

The Hellmouth Job, Part II (A Leverage/Buffy Fanfic)

Part I

“All right, so here we go. Missing students and kids include Andromeda Wallace, Felicity Norton, Princessa Washington… okay, I’m going to stop listing names for a moment and ask what the hell is up with these people and their names? I mean, seriously? Andromeda?”

“It’s California,” Eliot scoffed. “They probably think that it’s bad karma or bad feng shui or something to give your kid a name someone else has.”

“Historically,” Sophie offered, “in many cultures, it’s considered good luck to give your children the names of those who have come before.” She mentioned it more to Parker, who was sitting next to her, playing the role of her teenaged cousin, then to Hardison and Eliot sitting behind them.

“Mmm,” Parker agreed. “Or a street.” She smiled, bright and sharp, and then, just as quickly, her smile vanished. She twisted in her seat to look at Hardison. “So these kids… what sort of youth group is this? I mean…”

“The thing is… I’m not sure. I mean, this isn’t any ‘Boys and Girls Club’ thing, this is set up in one of the nicer neighborhoods in what’s a pretty rich school district. This is like, rich kid day care, but for the evenings, and for kids too old to really need day care.”

“Keep ‘em out of trouble,” Eliot opined. “GIve ‘em something to do so they’re not just spendin’ mommy and daddy’s money.”

“But now they’re in even more trouble.” Parker frowned. “Well, we think they are, right? I mean… sometimes missing kids just run away.”

Nate coughed. He’d been quiet, pretending to study a tourist guide to Bright Sunnydale. “It is a rare case that a runaway finds a benevolent mentor who’s a good fit for her, Parker. Many runaways… well, they need rescuing, too, even if they don’t know it yet.”

“Still, I mean. We’re not just returning these kids to sender, are we?”

“If it turns out they want to be lost…” Hardison began.

“Then it’s still illegal.” Eliot’s frown took on a sharp edge. “Anything you do involving kids is illegal, pretty much.”

“Everything we do is illegal, man.”

“I bought a pair of shoes last week,” Sophie offered. “Bought, as in paid for. Now, mind, the price I paid for them ought to be a crime. But it wasn’t technically illegal.”

“You stole the money though, right?” Parker popped her gum. “And the dress?”

“Well, of course, I’m not insane.”

“That’s different.” Eliot’s growl was tense. Both women stopped and looked at him. “I’m serious, guys. One, the people that mess with kids are shit, the absolute worst. They’re going to fight dirtier than…”


“Yes. Dirtier than him. Dirtier than anything you’ve seen. Two… Do not,” he dropped his voice to a fierce whisper, “ever let the cops find you out doing anything at all involving kids. They can get you, and they will, because they can’t get the real assholes.”

“Yes please, two of those lovely little drinks, thank you.” Hardison smiled at the flight attendant. “And could I get a pillow? Maybe some headphones? I know, everyone wants everything, and there’s only the one of you to go around, but you’re a sweetheart to try. Thank you, thank you.” He continued gushing until she scurried off, a little confused but, more importantly, no longer paying attention to what Eliot had been saying. “Man,” he added, annoyed, “we are on a public plane. They will arrest my ass if they think that I am doing anything remotely suspicious. Do not get me arrested again, Eliot.”

“That time in Cancun doesn’t count,” Eliot snapped. “Man, just because—” his annoyance faded into a reminiscent smile as he leaned back in the seat “—that nice policegirl had a thing for me…”

Hardison opened his mouth, gestured, and shut his mouth without saying anything.

“So anyway,” Parker picked up. “We’re just looking. When we find things, then we make a plan for the next step. Wait.” She wrinkled her nose at Nate. “Then we decide which plan we’re going to use.”

“As long as it’s not the one where I die,” Hardison mumbled.


“All right.” Willow frowned at the screen. “That’s seventeen people missing in the last month. I’ve managed to eliminate ten of them. We were there when Alberta died…”

“Alas, poor Alberta,” Xander sighed, speaking to a skull. “Wait, this isn’t her, is it?”

“That one’s plastic, Xander.” Buffy took it from him. “You can tell from the whitey-ness. Real skulls aren’t usually that bright.”

“Guys,” Willow complained. “I know we didn’t actually know Alberta, but come on. Feel a little bad for someone transferring into the school and getting killed on her first day.”

“I feel that,” Buffy conceded. “So… ten ‘known causes’, known to us, at least. What are the other seven?”

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Thinking about Patreon…

…would people be interested in a map/diagram/floor plan milestone? Like, for every month we reach this milestone, $5 donors can vote on a potential map or diagram or floorplan related to either the serial or the month’s theme?

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Laying some law-foundation, a story for #ThimblefulThursday

This is set in a new setting, one I tripped and created while sitting in training a few weeks back.

The setting is called “Colonize Earth” and revolves around a test colony set up on a remote portion of earth but treated as a space colony, dis-attached from the laws of the world. This is the first piece that’s actually made it to Dreamwidth.

“We need laws.” Tendor West paced in his tiny office, more a transmission room than a place of state. The Colonial Authority had chosen him to be Leader of their test-colony, and he was taking the responsibility seriously, perhaps too much so.

“We have laws,” Ona Boisen pointed out. She might not be Leader, but she headed a Team of 100 people, by the same Authority-choice that had gotten West his position. “The Colonial Authority set them down.”

“This thing?” West picked up the print-out and flopped it down. “It’s barely a page long. It doesn’t cover anything.”

“Moral laws, for one,” Dia Alton suggested. The Alton team was already seeming a bit strange, and they’d only been locked in their Test Colony here for a week. “We want to make sure nobody is doing anything improper. Especially teenagers.” She wrinkled her nose.

“Are you insane?” Boisen glared at Alton, who glared right back. “We have to succeed as a colony here, which means keeping our population growing within the constraints of the mission. Teenagers who signed up know that. And teenagers who signed up did so with full expectation that they would be treated as citizens of this colony.”

“You’re the insane one, if you think treating teenagers as anything other than deranged hoodlums is a good idea,” Alton sneered.

Yuri Tagna cleared his throat. “Neither of these things are the point. The point is that the Authority gave us a set of regulations, as Team Leader Boisen pointed out, and that they gave us the ability to alter them, as Leader West pointed out.”

“And alter them we should.” The fifth Team Leader finally spoke up. Gretel Hanson was a quiet woman, chief among their botanists as well as head of a team. “But my suggestion is thus: We begin with the laws as they are. They cover the very basic laws.”

“Barely,” West sneered. “There’s not a thing in there about things like drug use ——”

“And why should there be?” Boisen countered. “Why should we tell people what they can do in their free time? As for their working time — well, there’s the line in there about ‘under the rules the supervisors set,’ isn’t there?”

“Also,” Hanson continued, as if she hadn’t been interrupted, “one would have to find a way to grow or synthesize the drugs. I would say to begin with the law as it is. It covers far more than it looks like, with all those codicils.”

“And moral laws?” Alton cut in. “We have nothing to cover morals.”

“And nor should we!” Boisen countered.

“…and as cases come up that require adjustment, we begin the books of precedent for each law. That way, we are not prematurely creating laws.”

Hansen smiled at the group, pleased at her suggestion. Tagna shifted uncomfortably.

“Go with what we have for now…?”

“And move on as needed. After all, we have other issues to discuss in this meeting.” She looked around the group. “As secretary, I say: all those in agreement with my plan?”

In the end, it was 3:2 for Hanson’s Cross-that-bridge-when-we-get-there legislative plan, as it came to be known. West would never forgive her, of course, but the true consequences would take far longer to surface.

This is written to June 2nd’s Thimbleful Thursday prompt

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Random-Number Abecedary, with help from friends

Over on [ profile] Thornewrites, I like to ask for random numbers to pick my next project of the day (off a list of current or potential projects).

Sometimes I like to spice things up a bit, so last week, I started with some animal prompts.

SIXTEEN sitting Siamese…
SIXTEEN Silly Silver Dollars

FIFTEEN fit fishers!
FIFTEEN Fine Fishing Cats!

FOURTEEN foreign fossa…
FOURTEEN foundering frogs!

THIRTEEN Thylacine Theurgists…
THIRTEEN Theocratic Thrashers…

TWELVE twirling twitterers!
Twelve Tart Toucans!

And then my friends started answering in kind:

[ profile] DaHob:
1 wintery wyrm
1 wan wilderbeast
1 whiskey weasel and 1 ornery okapi
1 wild wallaby

[ profile] Sushimustwrite:
Fiiiiiiiive numbered tweeeeeets!
Nine nimble narwhals!

[ profile] Simon_Batt:
Two Triumphant Tigers, please!
Eight Elegant Eagles! (So patriotic.)

And then [ profile] Anke upped the ante:
eight electric eels eating eggs

So I asked for
FOURTEEN forceful frogs forgiving foes!
THIRTEEN thriving Therapsids throwing thallium!
Twelve twitchy tayra twisting twiddle-twaddle!
ELEVEN Eclectic Echidnas embracing effeminacy!

And then [ profile] DaHob upped it again:
one onyx owl onboarding orphans overseas
one orange ocelot opines on otherwise overlooked options
1 wascally wabbit wrestling with weighty woes

So I ended up with
Twelve truthful tegus tunefully typing trustworthy tales!
FOURTEEN fecund fulmar fidgeting from festive fractionation!
ELEVEN elegant elk elucidating elaborate explanations
TEN Trepadatious tahrs telegraph trite tableaus

and things from [ profile] Sushimustwrite like:
Seven somber sharks sleeping soundly!

And from [ profile] Anke like:
eight elderly elephants expressing excitement eruditely every evening

And now my number-requests are nearly as long as my writing…. but man is it fun!

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